Anger

Before I say anything else, I want you to know that I really dislike being angry.  I really dislike losing my temper.  I really dislike conflict.  I really dislike confrontation.  I am an easy going person who most always gets along with everyone, even if I don't particularly like them.  I believe what Jesus says, love your neighbor as your self.  I believe in the golden rule, treat others as you would have them treat you.

99% of the time I manage to not let anger get the best of me.  More often than not, when someone is mean, cruel, hateful, etc. to me, I tend to let them do their thing, turn the other cheek, and walk away.  Only to slink into my own world where I have what I call a 'pity party.'  During this pity party time I will listen to certain kinds of music, mostly songs that are sad, I cry, and sometimes I feel sorry for myself.  I often wonder what I did to deserve to be treated this way.  Why am I the scapegoat?  Why is it all my fault?

Tonight was one of those truly rare occasions when I lost my temper.  Not completely, but enough for everyone around the table at a meeting I was attending to definitely know I had lost my patience.  I pride myself on not losing my temper.  On keeping a cool, calm head in heated discussions.  But tonight that all went out the window.

At some point, when you have listened to people tear you down for the past 13 months and there's just no letting up, somethings gonna happen.  I wasn't rude or mean, I didn't really strike back, but I confronted someone on something they said and ended it with "yeah right."  There were a lot of other things I wanted to say, but thank goodness God kept me from saying them.

Yes, there were several words of profanity that wanted to come spuing out of my mouth.  They were certainly racing through my mind at the time.  All I can say it 'thank you Lord, thank you.'

Returning hatred for hatred never solves anything.  If there's one thing I've learned in all my days, especially growing up in the South, is that there is no place for hatred.  There is no place for cruelty.  Letting yourself drop to this level is letting Satan have his way.  So for just that instance, I let Satan win.  I let him take control tonight and I am not happy about that.  Just because others act with stupidity and ignorance doesn't give me the right to act like that too.

It's going to be a while before I can sleep tonight.  All these thoughts just keep going through my mind and I keep replaying what happened.  I can't take back how I acted, what I said.  And truthfully, I have no desire to ask anyone for forgiveness.  Although when I say my prayers tonight, I will be asking God to forgive me.  To help me to continue to keep my feelings in check.  To be objective.  To be the loving person He expects me to be.  Nobody ever said being a Christian was easy, and certainly no one ever said being a pastor was easy.  In fact, Jesus told us that being a follower of God would bring us hatred, condemnation, and possibly death.

So I end this with, God help me please.  Help me to love those who are unlovable.  Help me to control my temper.  Help me to forgive those 'who know not what they do.'

Everything I Don't Want to Hear About Church

I don’t want to hear that it’s my responsibility to make disciples of others.  That’s the pastor’s job right?  I don’t want to hear that I need to volunteer more of my time.  I don’t have any time, aren’t there enough other people volunteering?   I don’t want to hear that my church needs more money.   I give every week, isn’t that enough?  I don’t want to hear that we need more ministries.  Why do we need more?  People wouldn’t come any way.  I don’t want to hear that our conference can’t help our poor church.  Isn’t that what they’re there for?  We’ve been paying our apportionments for years and what have they done for us?  I don’t want to hear that we need to open our doors to the undesireables.   Soon as we start letting ‘them’ in our church is going to fall apart.  We don’t want ‘their kind’ here.  I don’t want to hear that we need to change to make others want to come/join our church.  What’s wrong with how we do things?  We’ve been doing it this way for over a hundred years with no problems.  I don’t want to hear that I’m supposed to love, accept, and forgive everyone.  Why would I want to do that?  There are some bad, sinful people out there.  They might corrupt our children.  I don’t want to hear that I am responsible.  What do you mean I’m responsible?  Why isn’t the pastor responsible for the problems we have?

What are we so afraid of?  Why are we always looking for a quick fix?  Why do we think we're entitled?  When did learning about the joy, and grace, and love of Jesus Christ fall to the way side?  When did we start thinking that we're entitled?  Isn't that what they're calling the younger generation these days?

And what do you mean it's all up to the pastor?  Pastors come and go.  The church is not 4 walls with a steeple on top.  It's the people within that make the church. They are the ones who will be here day in and day out carrying out the ministries of the church and keeping it moving into the future.

It's up to us as individual, disciples of Jesus Christ to make the church a welcoming place for everyone.  To find ministries that meet the needs of the community we are a part of.  To find ways to engage our youth in the community we call church.  Help them to learn their gifts so that they may feel a part of worshiping God with us.  

Are we lacking the spiritual fruits that we need to push forward into the future?  Are we willing to explore what those fruits may be?  In every church, not just the small ones, there are always the select few who are always volunteering, organizing things, keeping things going.  What are the rest afraid of?  Why do they ignore the needs of their church?  I understand that people lead busy lives these days.  We even manage to book our kids solid so they don't have any free time.  But why are we ignoring the church?

In a world so full of competition, we have to find new inviting ways to keep our members coming.  Sure, there's always the faithful who will always be there.  But our church can't depend on them alone.  We must find ways to keep the people we have interested, to help them discover their gifts so that they can contribute them to the whole at large.  As the church sign here at left states, 'shouting Oh God' from bed doesn't count.  Showing up only on Easter or Christmas Eve doesn't count.  Now don't get me wrong here, I know there are people who are required to work on Sundays.  I was one of those for many years.  I dearly missed and longed to be in church.  Life certainly wasn't the same for me.  But for those who think showing up whenever they feel like it makes them a follower of Christ, well, they better rethink that position.

There is no easy way to heaven.  It takes hard, faithful work.  It takes commitment.  It takes following Jesus' instructions: "for no one enters the kingdom of my father without going through me."  There is a road map, you just have to be willing to follow.  

There are no quick fixes for things going on in our churches today.  There's no hero who is going to walk through the doors and instantly make things better.  If we aren't willing to do the job Christ has entrusted us with, then why are we even bothering to keep the church doors open?  People are leaving, the bills are piling up, and everything is in disrepair. Nobody's motivated to do anything.  They all have this 'I'm a victim' attitude.  Makes me very sad.

Good Friends Are Hard to Find

  

You know, in school you either had a bunch of friends or you didn't.  When you become an adult you seem to be more picky about who you choose as friends.  I think we choose our friends for various reasons.  Some are every day friends - the ones you associate with from work, for example.  They are more than just acquaintances.  You discuss work, kids, sometimes politics and kids.

Some are good friends.  You enjoy spending time with these people.  You share dinners, outings, and various  other activities with them.  

                                                    Some are life long friends.  You may have grown up with them.  You may have met them later on in life.  You share a particular closeness with them that you don't share with others.  You share news about kids, family, jobs, etc. and you always keep in touch.

Some are friends you meet on line in places like Facebook.  You would think that these friends are just superficial, and maybe some are, but some turn into what I like to call 'long lost friends.'  You start out playing a game with them or just making a comment on something they said and the next thing you know they have become a friend that you sincerely care about, appreciate their opinions, and you talk all the time.  I've met some wonderful people on line.  I consider them some of my very best friends.  Some I can say and tell anything.  We can be personal and know that it doesn't go any further than between us.  I love these friends.  I'm thankful for these friends.  And I hope to meet them one day soon. 

Then there are friends in your life that you just couldn't live without.  They know you inside and out.  They understand when you aren't yourself.  They love you unconditionally.  They would do anything for you and you for them.  You share your joys with each other and you cry tears together.  When one of you needs a shoulder to cry on, it's there.  Even if you're not in the same town or time zone.  Phone calls last late into the night/early morning.  You could pretty much call them soul mates.  You were meant to be friends.  This friendship will never end.  You will take it to the grave with you and beyond.   

 You have to cherish these friendships.  They are so very special.  They are in your life for a reason.  They are a gift from God.  I thank God for these friends of mine every day.  I couldn't survive without them.

My friends, you know who you are.  I love you forever!  And I will be with you forever. God bless.   

Differences

And so I wonder when it is that we, as Christians, started to feel the need to "rate" our pastors sermons with a thumbs up or down, and qualify that the person who accidentally ran over a dog was a Jehovah's witness? Sad, but true, we've taken what was meant to be a place of intense, open, non-judgmental love and fellowship, and made it into a place where we can hold our beliefs, and thus, ourselves up as better than other children of God. How do we expect to have a deeply relational connection with our Lord if we cannot find it in our hearts to treat each other at least, with respect? We will never, let me reiterate...NEVER be without differences as long as there are living beings in this world. It's all in whether or not we can agree that those differences will not be the deciding factor in how we live our God's purpose for our lives!!!

No post tonight.  Too tired.  More tomorrow.  Hope you all have a blessed day!

Sometimes Life Seems Like Chapters of Goodbyes

Before you get out the tissues, I don’t intend to make this post all about sadness.  So we’ll start out on a happy note here.

The first goodbye we experience in life is that of leaving the womb.  I know, you’re thinking “but that’s a beginning.”  And it is, but it also a goodbye.  A child has spent 9 months in the womb.  You have to imagine that they have been happy and comfortable there, having all their needs met 24/7.  They didn’t have to cry, kick, scream or anything.  They just had to grow and enjoy their time there.  So leaving the womb is definitely a goodbye for them.  And then it becomes a new beginning.  The beginning of life as we know it.  They are breathing real live oxygen on their own, they are hearing and seeing things for the first time.  It’s an awesome and scary experience I’m sure.

The next goodbye we experience is going to school.  We’re saying goodbye to all day play, taking naps, and having undivided attention from our moms.  Now of course most of us didn’t perceive it that way, we were excited about our new adventure – albeit – a new beginning.  I do believe this was harder on the moms than anyone else.

Fast forward to the teen years.  Here is where we are first introduced to heartache of goodbye.  I think everyone went through puppy love.  Of course we are sure that this love will never end.  But it does, and we are completely broken hearted and swear we’re never gonna fall in love again because we could not possibly love anyone that much, ever!  Even so, this is also a beginning.  It’s the beginning of growing up, and learning what love is all about.

Sometimes though, as adults, we forget how that was as a teenager.  Some people fall in love easily, some don’t.  But it’s as true for adults as it is for teens.  Sometimes even worse.  Because once you’ve given your heart to someone and they throw it away, or take advantage of it, you now feel betrayed, and like you’ve been made a fool of.  You thought you’d grown out of making dumb mistakes (not that you  really did) and you are devastated.  These goodbyes are some of the hardest to get over.

One hard goodbye is the one when a father walks his daughter down the aisle.  So many dad’s get choked up doing this.  They are giving away their baby girl.  They are sad that are no longer the most important man in her life.  And to make it worse, the poor dad always has to have the first dance.  But for both of them, this too is a new beginning.

Another hard goodbye is when we must let go of a loved one who has died.  Even if the person has been sick a long time, the grieving begins, it hurts like hell, and it takes a while for  the healing to come.  Even though this is extremely hard to go through, it too is a new beginning.  Our loved one is starting life with Jesus.

Speaking of Jesus, many, like the disciples, had to say goodbye to Jesus.  They weren’t quite sure what was going to happen even  though Jesus had told them.  It was awful for them to watch him suffer and die on that cross.  But it was also a new beginning, for Jesus and us.  Because Jesus gave his life for us, we began a life where our sins have been forgiven.  And the disciples came to realize that their new beginning was to carry on Jesus’ teachings of making disciples of the world.

There are many more examples of goodbyes that we could talk about here, but I think the point here is that while there are many goodbyes in our lives, there are also many beginnings.  So the next time you’re experiencing a goodbye, go ahead, have yourself a pity party as I like to call them.  But somewhere along the way, make sure to realize that it is also a beginning.  For every door that closes, God opens another.  

  

Not sure that I'm really happy with how this turned out tonight, my thoughts seem to be very jumbled.  But hope you find something useful here.

Servant of God

Great uncle Joe passed away last week.  We never knew him all that well, which is very unfortunate. Meeting him once though, I knew immediately who he counted as his savior. Joe never worried about money and never cared about money. He did things for his friends, who were many, because he wanted to. When they would ask how much he wanted, he'd always ask, well, whatever you think it's worth. Most of the people in the church today ( a tiny little Missouri Synod church down by Horicon) owed him money-the church was overflowing. But, it wasn't because he did things for free- it was because he spent his life being a servant and friend to others. The pastor told a story about Joe today that spoke to his greatest love- God---

The pastor was assigned to fill in at this church until they could find a new pastor- little did he know, he would, one year later, become that new pastor. One of the men in the church came by during the pastor's first week and said there was someone he wanted the pastor to meet. That afternoon they drove out to Joe's house, walked in ( it was always unlocked) and found Joe in the shop making furniture. The pastor and Joe were introduced at which point the pastor said to Joe that he thought they might sometime sit and talk about the bible, etc. Joe promptly shut off his machines and said, ok, and they sat and talked for hours that afternoon. The pastor said in 33 years of preaching nobody had ever dropped everything they were doing to talk with him about Jesus.

Joe made 150 Christmas cakes every year and delivered them to shut ins in the neighborhood. This last year, while delivering those cakes, he fell down a flight of stairs and never quite recovered. In the hospital Joe said the hardest thing was that his eyes were no longer good enough to read the bible. Though scripture was on his heart, he found solace in reading those words.

  I guess there's no real point to this story other than to share it- because it seemed such a disservice to not share- know that the things you do, the times you drop everything to be a servant and share with someone, even one other person, that it makes a world of difference.....