When Words Hurt

As children we learn very quickly on that we don't have to hit, slap, or beat someone up to hurt them.  We learn that words can be quite powerful.  And sometimes words are more hurtful than anything physical we could possibly do to someone.  No matter how hard our parents try to teach us to be polite, to be kind, to be the kind of friend we want someone to be to us, inevitably there comes that time when we become the unfriendly one, the bully on the playground.

  One minute we are playing Hot Wheels or Barbies with our best friend and the next we're throwing out insults like nobody's business.  We aim perfectly, the goal is to bring tears to their eyes.  To make them want to run away from us so we can have all the fun ourselves.  Or at least that's what we think.  Sometimes they lash back at us with words we aren't expecting.  The next thing we know, we are the one who is crying or running away.  Bottom line, it's all about who is the strongest and most word worthy.  In the end we are both wounded, both sad, we don't know how to reconcile this situation so we run away.  Maybe tomorrow we'll be friends again and maybe we won't.  Sometimes words cut too deep.

 It's easy to tell our children we have a choice as to whether to accept the hurtful words we've been called, but it's much harder for them to accept our theory.  And we know this all to well.  How many times in our own lives have we been hurt by the words of others?  How deep were the wounds?  Did they heal or fester?  Did they cause us to become hateful in return?  

What would Jesus say or do?  Jesus knew all to well how much words hurt.  He knew all to well how deep they cut into your soul.  He knows that even if we choose to ignore the hurtful things that others say, they still hurt us.  Sometimes to the point that we start believing them.  Take the child who is raised in a home where he/she is constantly called names like stupid, worthless, no good, you'll never amount to anything.  When that's all you've heard all your life, how could possibly think any better of yourself?  How could you believe when the preacher says that you are a child of God, you are valuable, you are worthy?  

Many people never come to terms with a past such as this.  Some turn into little meek souls who do anything and everything to keep from rocking the boat.  They can't deal with conflict.  They crawl into their little safe place and are afraid to come out.  They can't live their lives.  Some grow up in a massive state of depression.  And the longer the depression weighs on their souls the worse it gets.  Some get to a point where they can't take it any more.  They give up.  They take their own lives.  Is that what Jesus wants for them?  Certainly not!  But through their clouded eyes all they can see are the tears.  All they can feel is the pain.  And it hurts, it hurts so bad.  

We have a choice, you and me.  We can choose to be the bully, to be the one on playground who thinks they have to be king of the hill.  We can be the conqueror.  Or we can be the person Jesus wants us to be.  We can be kind.  We can avoid saying those hurtful, nasty words to others.  Yes, as children we must learn to discern between what is the right thing to say and what is the wrong thing to say.  But as adults, as adults, we should already know this.  Already have a grip on our words and our actions.  We can choose to hate or we can choose to love.  We can choose to lead or we can choose to follow.  We can choose to be kind or to be the bully.

Whether it be through words or actions, what we display on the outside to others is what is on the inside.  Just because we've been hurt doesn't mean that we have to lash out at others.  What purpose do we think we're accomplishing if we do lash out?  Do we think it makes us superior?  Are we the winner because we won the war of the words?  NO, we aren't.  In reality we are the losers.  

So you make the choice today: