Why Pastor’s Drink/Depression

If you want to know how well your sermon is going, just look at me and I’ll give you a thumbs up or a thumbs down.

Why did you pick that song?  You know nobody here knows it.  We don’t want to learn new songs.

You don’t sing loud enough.

We don’t think you’re tithing enough.

What do you mean we have to reimburse you for mileage?  Why can’t you just drive everywhere we want you to and you don’t need to get paid for it.

Why did you wear that robe?  Are you trying intimidate people?

Yah, it’s your office but it’s our church and we get to say how it’s decorated.

The parsonage, yes, you get to live there but we can come in whenever we want cause we own it.

We think you should make your sermons shorter, visit more people, volunteer more, and generally give more of yourself.

What do you mean we pay you a poverty level salary?  We pay you a decent wage. 

You can’t bring your child to church; he/she might disrupt the service.

All our troubles are your fault.  You better fix them or leave.

We aren’t paying for internet.  Just because the conference thinks they should communicate that way doesn’t mean we have to.  If they want you to get something they can send it in the mail just like we’ve always done.

It’s your job to do everything we want you to do.

You’re supposed to know what we need and what we want.

“I just don’t get that feeling.”  “What feeling are you looking for?”  “I don’t know, but I know I don’t get it.”

You ruined our church.

We’ve decided that you aren’t getting paid any more.

What do you mean you’re not going to be in charge of the youth group, the Sunday School, the Bible Studies, the choir, and all of our committees?  That’s your job!

How many pastors out there have heard had least some of the statements or questions above?  I would venture to say that most pastors, if not all of them, at some time in their career or throughout their career, have pretty much heard them all and more.

In some ways, pastors are like celebrities.  Once they give their life over to God, to serve Him in every way, and accept an appointment, their lives are no longer their own.  They are obligated to their churches, their members, their bosses, the conference they serve in, and the denomination they are a part of.  And if they’re married they are obligated to their spouse and children and families. 

No longer do they have the freedom to be themselves.  They are constantly on guard to show a person of perfection.  Are they perfect?  Of course not, though some will try.  They can’t just relax, let their hair down, and be any semblance of the person they once were.  If they do attempt to be, it must be behind closed curtains and closed doors.  They must hide themselves from the world around them.

Many clergy feel trapped by their calling.  Don’t get me wrong, they are called; they do want to serve God.  But the pressure they receive from members within churches can sometimes be unbearable.  Pastors are human.  They have feelings just like everyone else.  So what gives people the right to treat them as if they’re supposed to be better than God? 

When expectations become unrealistic, when we start to believe that we are failures because someone else says so, we begin that slippery slope that can lead to self- destruction.  Some become unable to function because of the stress.  Some become so filled with anger that no one can stand to be around them, especially the spouses.  Sometimes they take out all this stress on their spouses.  Sometimes they start making bad decisions.  Sometimes they turn to drugs.  Sometimes they turn to alcohol.  At the very worst, they become so depressed that they take their own lives.

Why would anyone want to be a pastor if they knew all these things before hand?  I’ll tell you why.  They become pastors because God has called them to be pastors.  The calling is so strong that they can’t ignore it no matter how hard they try.  Just like when God called Moses, he fought it tooth and nail, but God prevailed.  He tried to tell God that he was just some man who could in no way do what God was asking him to do.  God listened, but he also promised Moses that he would take care of him and his family.  He gave Moses the tools he needed to accomplish everything He wanted him to do. 

God gives all pastors the tools they need to accomplish His works.  But somewhere down the line we forget.  We hear too much negativity.  We are gossiped about.  We are torn down.  We are shredded.  Sometimes pastors just run.  They give up.  They break.  

Depression is very common among pastors.  Depression is a disease listed by the APA.  It affects 1 in 10 persons.  We are always telling people that they must have faith.  That through God they can have hope and love.  But what if the pastor “doesn’t have faith? Or hope? Or love?  What if life seems like a burden and nothing seems worthwhile? Does it mean we have left God behind?  Are we at fault?   And if we are despairing and sad, does it mean that we are sinning?   It afflicts Christians just as much as non-Christians. It happens to great saints and great sinners. And it can lead both to despair. It can make God feel so distant and cold that it feels like he isn’t there. It can make prayer a cold exercise. And worship a meaningless show. It can steal away the joy of life, and leave nothing but despair.” (Eric Nelson, 2011). 

Jesus says to us, “Come to me, all you that are weary and carrying heavy burdens and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”  Sometimes this is easier said than done.  We try and try but feel like we’re running in place.  We know Jesus carried his own burdens while here on earth and He carried ours to the cross.

So next time you see your pastor, see if you can’t just say ‘thank you.’  Include your pastor in your prayers each day.  They often need it more than anyone else.  They, like Christ, are taking your burdens on their shoulders.  No, they aren’t going to die on the cross for you, though some might be willing.  But they are fighting Satan every single day in God’s name for you, and me, and themselves.  Try to be understanding of them.  Try lending a helping hand.  But above all, pray for them and love them.    

If you read this post, I would appreciate any comments you may have.  Dialogue is very helpful.